If you had a face like mine, you'd punch me right on the nose, and I'm just the fella to do it.

- Stan Laurel

You can lead a horse to water, but a pencil must be led.

- Stan Laurel

I had a dream that I was awake and I woke up to find myself asleep.

- Stan Laurel

Humor is the truth; wit is an exaggeration of the truth.

- Stan Laurel

What business do we have telling people who to vote for? They probably know more about it than we do.

- Stan Laurel

Another fine mess you've gotten me into.

- Stan Laurel

If any of you cry at my funeral, I'll never speak to you again!

- Stan Laurel

If anyone at my funeral has a long face, I'll never speak to him again.

- Stan Laurel

A friend once asked me what comedy was. That floored me. What is comedy? I don't know. Does anybody? Can you define it? All I know is that I learned how to get laughs, and that's all I know about it. You have to learn what people will laugh at, then proceed accordingly.

- Stan Laurel

I don't deserve to be mentioned in the same sentence with Charles Chaplin.

- Stan Laurel