What men prize most is a privilege, even if it be that of chief mourner at a funeral.

- James Russell Lowell

I've had to write a column an hour after I've come back from a funeral. A deadline is a deadline, I mean, that was just what my job was.

- Laurie Notaro

I mean some doctor told me I had six months to live and I went to their funeral.

- Keith Richards

The first funeral for Andrew Goodman was at night and it was a lot of work. To begin with they had to kill him.

- Jimmy Breslin

I don't want the sort of funeral that everybody else has, but there is one hymn, a good Protestant hymn, and it is sung at all Protestant funerals, and I think I should have it sung at mine. It is called 'The Day Thou Gave Us Lord is Ended'.

- Jennifer Johnston

I've laughed hysterically, just trying to hold it in, at every funeral I've been to, because everyone's so serious. And there are a lot of people speaking publicly, which makes you understand why it's people's number one fear - because everyone shouldn't do it.

- Jerrod Carmichael

The saddest face I ever saw on Martin Luther King was at the funeral of the four little girls slain in Birmingham, Alabama.

- James A. Forbes

My biggest blast-off hit was 'You Raise Me Up.' If you ever have a wedding or a funeral, it's a good pick.

- Josh Groban

But there, everything has its drawbacks, as the man said when his mother-in-law died, and they came down upon him for the funeral expenses.

- Jerome K. Jerome

I grew up in a secular suburban Jewish household where we only observed the religion on very specific times like a funeral or a Bar Mitzvah.

- Jesse Eisenberg

I've had some really big hits with 'Groundhog Day' and 'Michael,' 'Multiplicity,' 'Four Weddings and a Funeral.'

- Andie MacDowell

A funeral eulogy is a belated plea for the defense delivered after the evidence is all in.

- Irvin S. Cobb

If you want to really know what your friends and family think of you die broke, and then see who shows up for the funeral.

- Gregory Nunn

Saying, 'I'm sorry' is the same as saying, ' I apologize.' Except at a funeral.

- Demetri Martin

I've got no idea when I am going to retire. Whenever they pick me up and take me to the funeral home, I guess.

- Colonel Sanders

Anything awful makes me laugh. I misbehaved once at a funeral.

- Charles Lamb

There will be no funeral! Before I get too old and ill, I'll go to South America and live among the Pemon people and meditate. When the time is right, they can throw my body into the volcano.

- Brian Blessed

The funeral business is so manipulative emotionally. I would want to be thrown into the sea or burned - something that's not a big hassle.

- Bjork

I did become quite well known from 'Four Weddings and a Funeral', and it helped hugely. I wasn't as famous as Hugh Grant, but I certainly began to work.

- Anna Chancellor

I used to sing at funeral homes for families that didn't have a vocalist. I didn't get paid. I needed to sing.

- Anita Baker