Sometimes, to keep things exciting, I decorate my house as if I owned a child. I'll toss a tiny pair of shoes in the hallway or lean small wooden crutches in what I refer to as 'the baby's room,' which is actually a tiny space where I make things. I continue to call it the baby's room because it confuses people and it's creepy.

- Amy Sedaris

Whenever I do your show, sometimes I get a little check in the mail and then I take that check and buy a new pair of shoes, and then I wear those shoes the next time I do your show.

- Amy Sedaris

I like crafts that come out of poverty or necessity. There used to be hobby shops where you'd get your supplies, and then you'd use your imagination.

- Amy Sedaris

I wasn't a cliquey person, and I think that's because I came from a large family. I got along with everybody, and I usually got along with the people that people didn't like.

- Amy Sedaris

More men than women like 'Strangers With Candy'. Pretty girls don't like the show. They don't like to see an ugly lady.

- Amy Sedaris

I want witchcraft so bad that I can't stand it. I have wands in my apartment. And I use them sometimes. I walk into the kitchen with my wand, and I come out with something on a platter and I say, 'See, magic happens.' Works every time.

- Amy Sedaris

I like to decide the night before Thanksgiving that I'm gonna do it, and I'll see what riff raff is around. Then I get that last-minute surge of energy. But if I had two weeks to plan, sometimes I wish I wasn't doing it. But very seldom does that happen.

- Amy Sedaris

I never really take shortcuts. I was always one of those people who, instead of cutting across someone's yard on the way home from school, I would go to the end of the block and turn.

- Amy Sedaris

I'm gonna do the whole bedroom in camel color - it's an old lady color.

- Amy Sedaris

You know when you watch old movies, it's always the small parts you remember, the character actors who come in like a breath of fresh air.

- Amy Sedaris

But I always like to play ugly people who think they're pretty.

- Amy Sedaris

If I put my mind to something, it happens. I do know that's not necessarily psychic. But I always feel like there's something around me protecting me.

- Amy Sedaris

I always liked my teachers, and I was in a lot of after-school projects. I was a Girl Scout until my senior year, when I couldn't be a Girl Scout anymore. I was in clubs like Junior Achievement, and I ran track and field. My grades were good, but then toward 11th grade they were nothing. I always went to summer school.

- Amy Sedaris

My father and I have a very good relationship. We always got along. But I always scold him.

- Amy Sedaris

We're all used to seeing pretty people. I want to see real people.

- Amy Sedaris

I have always wanted a bunny and I'll always have a rabbit the rest of my life.

- Amy Sedaris

My mom used to say that Greek Easter was later because then you get stuff cheaper.

- Amy Sedaris

When people tell me they are going to go scrapbooking, I say, 'Why don't you make it yourself.' It's like chocolate-chip cookies. People buy the cookie-dough roll and slice it, and then they lay it on a cookie sheet. That's not making chocolate-chip cookies.

- Amy Sedaris

I like crafts that are made out of necessity because they're a little naive - you made it because you needed it.

- Amy Sedaris

Books are challenging and inspirational to me.

- Amy Sedaris