If you can laugh together, you can work together.

- Robert Orben

Humor starts like a wildfire, but then continues on, smoldering, smoldering for years.

- Robert Orben

Spring is God's way of saying, 'One more time!'

- Robert Orben

In prehistoric times, mankind often had only two choices in crisis situations: fight or flee. In modern times, humor offers us a third alternative; fight, flee - or laugh.

- Robert Orben

More than ever before, Americans are suffering from back problems: back taxes, back rent, back auto payments.

- Robert Orben

Love is so confusing - you tell a girl she looks great and what's the first thing you do? Turn out the lights!

- Robert Orben

The secret of writing comedy is to know where it's all going, then get ahead of it.

- Robert Orben

There are days when it takes all you've got just to keep up with the losers.

- Robert Orben

What bothers me about TV is that it tends to take our minds off our minds.

- Robert Orben

Do your kids a favor - don't have any.

- Robert Orben

Don't think of it as failure. Think of it as time-released success.

- Robert Orben

The chance to be seen as a warm, witty guy is too good an opportunity for a politician to miss.

- Robert Orben

Washington is a place where politicians don't know which way is up and taxes don't know which way is down.

- Robert Orben

With my luck, if I ever invested in General Motors, they'd bust it to Corporal!

- Robert Orben

Every speaker has a mouth; An arrangement rather neat. Sometimes it's filled with wisdom. Sometimes it's filled with feet.

- Robert Orben

Happiness is a very small desk and a very big wastebasket.

- Robert Orben

President Ford used humor a great deal.

- Robert Orben

Sometimes I get the feeling the whole world is against me, but deep down I know that's not true. Some of the smaller countries are neutral.

- Robert Orben

Telling a joke is risk taking. Younger people are more insecure and not willing to put themselves on the line, so a quick one-liner is much safer.

- Robert Orben

I remember when humor was gentle pokes. I used to call it 'arm around the shoulder' humor. Now they go for the jugular and they take no prisoners. It's mean, mean stuff.

- Robert Orben