Half of being smart is knowing what you are dumb about.

- Solomon Short

A diploma only proves that you know how to look up answers.

- Solomon Short

The only winner in the War of 1812 was Tchaikovsky.

- Solomon Short

Nature abhors a hero. For one thing, he violates the law of conservation of energy. For another, how can it be the survival of the fittest when the fittest keeps putting himself in situations where he is most likely to be creamed?

- Solomon Short

If God is watching us, we might as well be interesting.

- Solomon Short