Quotes from Jack Benny


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    It's not so much knowing when to speak, when to pause.

    Speak | Knowing | Pause


    Age is strictly a case of mind over matter. If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

    Age | Matter | Strictly


    I don't deserve this award, but I have arthritis and I don't deserve that either.

    Funny | Deserve | Award


    Give me golf clubs, fresh air and a beautiful partner, and you can keep the clubs and the fresh air.

    Sports | Golf | Beautiful


    If you don't mind, it doesn't matter.

    Funny | Matter


    Gags die, humor doesn't.

    Humor | Die | Gags


    Hors D'oeuvre: A ham sandwich cut into forty pieces.

    Forty | Sandwich | Pieces


    I don't want to tell you how much insurance I carry with the Prudential, but all I can say is: when I go, they go too.

    Insurance | Carry


    My wife Mary and I have been married for forty-seven years and not once have we had an argument serious enough to consider divorce; murder, yes, but divorce, never.

    Wife | Divorce | Argument


    Modesty is my best quality.

    Best | Quality | Modesty


       

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