Most of the shows I want to do I'm not smart enough to figure out how to watch.

- David Spade

It's just a campy blast. I just want to do as little as I can and make it good, and try not to sell out. I'm sure I will, but I'm just trying to postpone it.

- David Spade

You know, you want to pull in a wide audience.

- David Spade

When I started I'd fly across the country to do a gig for a hundred bucks.

- David Spade

To be famous and broke is hard.

- David Spade

No one wants to know I set my alarm and get up 8, but I think it's too weird to sleep in too late.

- David Spade

My career is just kind of crazy.

- David Spade

It's so crazy in Hollywood.

- David Spade

I'm like a Dilbert cartoon.

- David Spade

I only have one note, let's be honest. But I'll play a different version of that one note.

- David Spade

I never have kids in movies or in TV shows.

- David Spade

I never dated much in high school or college.

- David Spade

I got into stand-up to get on a sitcom.

- David Spade

To make money I picked up work as a busboy, valet parker, skateboard shop employee.

- David Spade

There are too many fawning entertainment shows out there and not one of them is making fun of it all.

- David Spade

There's always something funny about men chasing women.

- David Spade

It's hard to have a career.

- David Spade

It's funny because it's funny.

- David Spade

I've had it where things didn't go well for me with movies or something that got canceled.

- David Spade

I've got to get on myself to be sharp, funny and loose.

- David Spade