Things always look better when you haven't seen them.

- Craig Bruce

I think; therefore, I am the center of the universe.

- Craig Bruce

The difference between being able to understand something and inventing it in the first place... is called genius.

- Craig Bruce

The Thought Police: To censor and protect.

- Craig Bruce

When you are finished with it, put it back in the first place that you looked for it.

- Craig Bruce

When you talk to yourself, at least you know that someone is listening.

- Craig Bruce

Whoever invented double clicking should be shot in the head! Twice!

- Craig Bruce

Something is always simple until you try it.

- Craig Bruce

Time is a resource whose supply is inversely proportional to its demand.

- Craig Bruce

Think Tank, noun: The shower.

- Craig Bruce

When anarchy is declared, the first thing we do, let's kill all the anarchists.

- Craig Bruce

'Programming' is a four-letter word.

- Craig Bruce

It's funny how most activists are pacifists.

- Craig Bruce

If I gave a damn what other people think of me, I would be more like other people.

- Craig Bruce

1 + 1 = 2. Everything else is derived.

- Craig Bruce

In order for a man to be truly evil, he must be a woman.

- Craig Bruce

Organizations like the ACLU fought and won the good fight back in the 1960's, but it's clear that nowadays they've run out of useful things to do since they now spend most of their time defending the scum of the Earth from getting what they rightly deserve.

- Craig Bruce

I wonder if those people shown protesting the deployment of nuclear weapons to western Europe during the Reagan era are feeling appropriately stupid today. 'Please don't take away our precious Soviet Union! - We demand the annihilation of all life on Earth!'

- Craig Bruce

The entire universe is working against me. I can't believe the entire universe could be that foolish!

- Craig Bruce

Silence is a statement that is open to gross misinterpretation.

- Craig Bruce