Isn't it a shame that future generations can't be here to see all the wonderful things we're doing with their money?

- Earl Wilson

Today's accent may be on youth, but the stress is still on the parents.

- Earl Wilson

The man who didn't want his wife to work has been succeeded by the man who asks about her chances of getting a raise.

- Earl Wilson

Middle Age - later than you think and sooner than you expect.

- Earl Wilson

He's an honest man - you could shoot craps with him over the telephone.

- Earl Wilson

He was so honest you could play craps with him over the phone.

- Earl Wilson

An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn't happen.

- Earl Wilson

This would be a much better world if more married couples were as deeply in love as they are in debt.

- Earl Wilson

If you wouldn't write it and sign it, don't say it.

- Earl Wilson

Ever notice that the whisper of temptation can be heard farther than the loudest call to duty.

- Earl Wilson

Courage is the art of being the only one who knows you're scared to death.

- Earl Wilson

To sell something, tell a woman it's a bargain; tell a man it's deductible.

- Earl Wilson

Poise: the ability to be ill at ease inconspicuously.

- Earl Wilson

A baseball game is simply a nervous breakdown divided into nine innings.

- Earl Wilson

Benjamin Franklin may have discovered electricity, but it was the man who invented the meter who made the money.

- Earl Wilson

Experience is what enables you to recognize a mistake when you make it again.

- Earl Wilson

Gossip is when you hear something you like about someone you don't.

- Earl Wilson

The fastest way for a politician to become an elder statesman is to lose an election.

- Earl Wilson

Home, nowadays, is a place where part of the family waits till the rest of the family brings the car back.

- Earl Wilson

Nothing is as embarrassing as watching your boss do something you assured him couldn't be done.

- Earl Wilson