The past actually happened but history is only what someone wrote down.

- A. Whitney Brown

I am not a vegetarian because I love animals; I am a vegetarian because I hate plants.

- A. Whitney Brown

Our bombs are smarter than the average high school student. At least they can find Kuwait.

- A. Whitney Brown

A group of white South Africans recently killed a black lawyer because he was black. That was wrong. They should have killed him because he was a lawyer.

- A. Whitney Brown

I'm not an atheist. How can you not believe in something that doesn't exist? That's way too convoluted for me.

- A. Whitney Brown

I am as frustrated with society as a pyromaniac in a petrified forest.

- A. Whitney Brown

Harry S. Truman had his moods. His birthplace is the only tourist attraction in America where you don't see Japanese with cameras.

- A. Whitney Brown

That is the saving grace of humor, if you fail no one is laughing at you.

- A. Whitney Brown