The pen is mightier than the sword, and is considerably easier to write with.

- Marty Feldman

I am too old to die young, and too young to grow up.

- Marty Feldman

I don't enjoy anything while I'm doing it. I enjoy having done things, though.

- Marty Feldman

I don't know any jokes, which is embarrassing. I wish I did.

- Marty Feldman

Money can't buy poverty.

- Marty Feldman

The pen is mightier than the sword, and considerably easier to write with.

- Marty Feldman

I won't eat anything that has intelligent life, but I'd gladly eat a network executive or a politician.

- Marty Feldman

Comedy, like sodomy, is an unnatural act.

- Marty Feldman

I don't want to be a director. I want to direct. There's a difference.

- Marty Feldman