Flattery is like cologne water, to be smelt, not swallowed.

- Josh Billings

The man whose only pleasure in life is making money, weighs less on the moral scale than an angleworm.

- Josh Billings

Life is short, but it's long enough to ruin any man who wants to be ruined.

- Josh Billings

There is no revenge so complete as forgiveness.

- Josh Billings

There are two things in life for which we are never truly prepared: twins.

- Josh Billings

Life consists not in holding good cards but in playing those you hold well.

- Josh Billings

There's a great power in words, if you don't hitch too many of them together.

- Josh Billings

Love looks through a telescope; envy, through a microscope.

- Josh Billings

There's a lot of people in this world who spend so much time watching their health that they haven't the time to enjoy it.

- Josh Billings

The wheel that squeaks the loudest is the one that gets the grease.

- Josh Billings

Genius ain't anything more than elegant common sense.

- Josh Billings

A dog is the only thing on earth that loves you more than you love yourself.

- Josh Billings

There are lots of people who mistake their imagination for their memory.

- Josh Billings

Marrying for love may be a bit risky, but it is so honest that God can't help but smile on it.

- Josh Billings

Silence is one of the hardest arguments to refute.

- Josh Billings

It is much easier to repent of sins that we have committed than to repent of those that we intend to commit.

- Josh Billings

Threescore years and ten is enough; if a man can't suffer all the misery he wants in that time, he must be numb.

- Josh Billings

There are two kinds of fools: those who can't change their opinions and those who won't.

- Josh Billings

Wisdom has never made a bigot, but learning has.

- Josh Billings

Laughter is the sensation of feeling good all over and showing it principally in one place.

- Josh Billings