To find a man's true character, play golf with him.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Sudden success in golf is like the sudden acquisition of wealth. It is apt to unsettle and deteriorate the character.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Has anybody ever seen a dramatic critic in the daytime? Of course not. They come out after dark, up to no good.

- P. G. Wodehouse

It was my Uncle George who discovered that alcohol was a food well in advance of modern medical thought.

- P. G. Wodehouse

I could see that, if not actually disgruntled, he was far from being gruntled.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Every author really wants to have letters printed in the papers. Unable to make the grade, he drops down a rung of the ladder and writes novels.

- P. G. Wodehouse

He was white and shaken, like a dry martini.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Success comes to a writer as a rule, so gradually that it is always something of a shock to him to look back and realize the heights to which he has climbed.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Golf, like measles, should be caught young.

- P. G. Wodehouse

There is only one cure for gray hair. It was invented by a Frenchman. It is called the guillotine.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Flowers are happy things.

- P. G. Wodehouse

He was a tubby little chap who looked as if he had been poured into his clothes and had forgotten to say 'when!'

- P. G. Wodehouse

I just sit at a typewriter and curse a bit.

- P. G. Wodehouse

The least thing upset him on the links. He missed short putts because of the uproar of the butterflies in the adjoining meadows.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Golf... is the infallible test. The man who can go into a patch of rough alone, with the knowledge that only God is watching him, and play his ball where it lies, is the man who will serve you faithfully and well.

- P. G. Wodehouse

She had a penetrating sort of laugh. Rather like a train going into a tunnel.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Few of them were to be trusted within reach of a trowel and a pile of bricks.

- P. G. Wodehouse

Her pupils were at once her salvation and her despair. They gave her the means of supporting life, but they made life hardly worth supporting.

- P. G. Wodehouse

The fascination of shooting as a sport depends almost wholly on whether you are at the right or wrong end of the gun.

- P. G. Wodehouse

I know I was writing stories when I was five. I don't know what I did before that. Just loafed I suppose.

- P. G. Wodehouse