When humor works, it works because it's clarifying what people already feel. It has to come from someplace real.

- Tina Fey

I think you basically have to abandon the dreams of having any other adult activities in your life. You have to go to sleep whenever your child goes to sleep.

- Tina Fey

I'm not a mean person, but I have a capacity for it.

- Tina Fey

I don't want to be somebody else.

- Tina Fey

When I was going to school in, like, '84 to '88, you didn't have cell phones. There was no e-mail, if you can wrap your brain around that.

- Tina Fey

I want to spend time with Oprah, and I don't know what I need to do to make that happen.

- Tina Fey

Somewhere around the fifth or seventh grade I figured out that I could ingratiate myself to people by making them laugh. Essentially, I was just trying to make them like me. But after a while it became part of my identity.

- Tina Fey

I still want Oprah to play my best friend. I want to spend time with Oprah.

- Tina Fey

I have two daughters, and we live here in Manhattan, and having gone through the Manhattan kindergarten application process, nothing will ever rival the stress of that.

- Tina Fey

I really love cursing a lot. But as I get older, I realize it's a little unseemly for women of a certain age.

- Tina Fey

I don't enjoy any kind of danger or volatility. I don't have that kind of 'I love the bad guys' thing. No, no thank you. I like nice people.

- Tina Fey

Being a mom has made me so tired. And so happy.

- Tina Fey

I think people fetishize glasses in general. You could put glasses on a rotting pumpkin and people would think it was sexy.

- Tina Fey

We're all comedy fans in my family. My parents mainly wouldn't let me watch stuff that was either annoying to them, or just garbage. My dad wouldn't let us watch 'The Flintstones' if he was home, because he said it was a rip-off of 'The Honeymooners'. But he would let us stay up really late in the summer and watch old 'Honeymooners'.

- Tina Fey

You can point any kind of laser at my face, but I don't think Botox is for me. I think it is bad. People who have too much, they look like their faces are full of candles - a shiny, shiny face.

- Tina Fey

When I started on 'Saturday Night Live,' I had the choice of wearing contact lenses, which I had never worn before, or glasses, in order to be able to read the cue cards.

- Tina Fey

If you're an actor and you don't get cast in stuff a lot, then put together a show or hold play-reading nights at your apartment. Make your own opportunities.

- Tina Fey

For my first show at 'SNL', I wrote a Bill Clinton sketch, and during our read-through, it wasn't getting any laughs. This weight of embarrassment came over me, and I felt like I was sweating from my spine out. But I realized, 'Okay, that happened, and I did not die.' You've got to experience failure to understand that you can survive it.

- Tina Fey

Most of the time you're too busy to think about it. But every now and then you say, 'I work at 'Saturday Night Live,' and that is so cool.

- Tina Fey

I'm not that good looking... nobody is that good looking. I have seen a lot of movie stars, and maybe four are amazing looking. The rest have a team of gay guys who make it happen.

- Tina Fey