Quotes from Jay London


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    I wanted to join the Army the sign said 'Be All That You Can Be', they told me it wasn't enough.

    Army | Join | Sign


    I went to a record store and asked for 50 cent. They kicked me out for pan-handling.

    Store | Asked | Kicked


    A window of opportunity for me usually involves a rock.

    Window | Rock | Involves


    I once dated a weather girl, we talked up a storm.

    Storm | Weather | Dated


    I saw a sign it said left lane closed so I went someplace else.

    Left | Sign | Lane


    I was lonely driving here tonight so I hugged the road.

    Road | Lonely | Driving


    You know what burns me? Matches.

    Burns | Matches


    I went to the store and bought lady fingers, when I got home I noticed one of the fingers was missing so I went back to the store and the manager was nice enough to give me the finger.

    Home | Missing | Nice


    Do you know it was a year a ago today?

    Today | Year


    My girlfriend has crabs, I bought her fishnet stockings.

    Girlfriend | Bought | Crabs


    I was going to buy a book on hair loss, but the pages kept falling out.

    Hair | Loss | Falling


    My boss told me to get my butt in gear. I told him I was shiftless.

    Boss | Gear


    People read me but they don't subscribe.

    Subscribe


    A guy gave me a job at an information booth - no questions asked.

    Questions | Guy | Asked


    Did you know that today will never be tomorrow.

    Today | Tomorrow


    Does anybody know what I'm doing up here?

    Anybody


    I was born nine months premature.

    Born | Nine | Months


    I went to a urologist - he told me I could go at any time.

    Time


    I'm on performance enhancing drugs, so I may cause drowsiness.

    Cause | Enhancing


    At Motel 6 in Amish Country I wonder if they leave the light on for you?

    Light | Wonder | Leave


       

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