I've never gone on Facebook and am not sure I understand it. The same goes for Twitter. I have someone sending tweets and pretending to be me, but I don't know why.

- David Sedaris

The humor section is the last place an author wants to be. They put your stuff next to collections of Cathy cartoons.

- David Sedaris

I went from having 50 listeners to 50 million listeners.

- David Sedaris

I think it's important to take chances.

- David Sedaris

I tend to show everything I do to my family, to check they won't be offended.

- David Sedaris

I'm not a reporter but the 'New Yorker' treats everyone like a reporter.

- David Sedaris

Because I've always been a fairly nervous person.

- David Sedaris

Also, I used to think that one day I might get someone to iron my shirts, but the truth is I really like doing them myself.

- David Sedaris

To say that a humorist exaggerates to get big laughs, I don't see how that's big news.

- David Sedaris

I felt uncomfortable calling myself a writer until I started with 'The New Yorker,' and then I was like, 'Okay, now you can call yourself that.'

- David Sedaris

But I'm a humorist. I'm not a reporter, I never pretended to be a reporter.

- David Sedaris

I love getting attention, just like a child loves it, and it's never worn off. So when people say, oh the book signings go on, why would I shoo away someone who's giving me attention? What part of standing in line for 10 hours to say how much they love you is bad to you?

- David Sedaris

When you read comic material and people aren't laughing how do you know they're listening.

- David Sedaris

There are lots of things that happen to me that I don't write about.

- David Sedaris

The only real advice you can give anyone is to keep writing.

- David Sedaris

No one writes dialect better than Flannery O'Connor. No one should even try.

- David Sedaris

My family isn't really all that different from anyone else's. Well, maybe they're a bit more entertaining.

- David Sedaris

I've always been very upfront about the way I write, and I've always used the tools humorists use, such as exaggeration.

- David Sedaris

I sometimes read books on my iPad.

- David Sedaris

I don't think my life is more interesting than anybody else's.

- David Sedaris