I think, you know, a lot of the business of comedy is taking your personal experiences and making them relatable to other people.

- Kumail Nanjiani

When generally people make race-based jokes to me - even if they're not technically racist, they're sort of based on me being Pakistani or whatever - on Twitter, you know, I block a lot of people who say something weird about my name or something. It does bug me generally, but it is all about context.

- Kumail Nanjiani

The worst job I ever had was an office job that I had for six years, and that's nothing against the people who I was surrounded by, because they were wonderful people.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I've found that the common humanity of people is the most relatable thing, and even if your stories are very specific about a different place, if you have a relatable core of humanity, people will go along with it.

- Kumail Nanjiani

Honestly, I would love to be friends with Fox Mulder on 'The X-Files.' That's almost a little too obvious, but that would be my answer. I'd love to hang out with him.

- Kumail Nanjiani

Wikipedia is kind of weird. I feel it's lame to put up my own page, but I desperately want someone else to do it.

- Kumail Nanjiani

When I started working on 'Michael And Michael,' it was my life for three to four months, and then suddenly it's gone.

- Kumail Nanjiani

If you do a sketch, that's a very short narrative. Stand-up, it's bit-to-bit, minute-long narratives.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I would say I try to make my comedy really personal. I try to tell stories that happened to me, experiences from my life.

- Kumail Nanjiani

Stand-up is successful if they laugh. It's unsuccessful if they don't laugh.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I moved to New York first and was really apprehensive about moving to L.A., but I really, really like it.

- Kumail Nanjiani

You really need to have that discipline. It's not even discipline. I just put down these rules. It's not like a vague, 'Motivate yourself!' and do something. It's specific hours set aside every day for certain things.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I never really got into game shows. The easiest one is 'Wheel Of Fortune' because you just have to know words, and for the most part everyone knows words.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I stay home. It's the best place to be alone. There is hardly any walk-through traffic.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I love, love, love the street-cart food. Gyros are like a meat-flavored fruit roll-up. A meat roll-up.

- Kumail Nanjiani

I'm from a family of doctors, and I think they really wanted me to be a doctor. I even sort of assumed I would be a doctor.

- Kumail Nanjiani

You can get stuck in the trap of reading your YouTube comments all the time. Sometimes I regret it. Not everyone is going to love you. And for some reason, stand-up has this thing where everyone thinks they can do it. So everyone thinks they're an expert.

- Kumail Nanjiani