Ever read a book that changed your life? Me neither.

- Jim Gaffigan

There's something that's really fun about the challenge of making the mundane funny, too, I think.

- Jim Gaffigan

I would say some of the food I talk about that I really enjoy, like cake and bacon, I eat a lot less than I portray in my act. But that stuff that I dislike, it's pretty sincere.

- Jim Gaffigan

I'm closer to Bob Newhart than Rodney Dangerfield.

- Jim Gaffigan

I was the youngest of six kids, so yeah, feeding myself was important, but it's not like I was obsessed with food growing up.

- Jim Gaffigan

When people look and decide they have nothing in common with me - I'm 43, balding, blond, whatever - there's something absolutely invigorating about winning them over. Even if it's eight people from Sweden who don't understand what I'm talking about.

- Jim Gaffigan

I don't know, I find that honestly, the stand-up thing in some ways is a little bit of a cliche to carry around, because people don't consider stand-ups really actors.

- Jim Gaffigan

No one goes into standup to make money. The frustration and rejection are just too much.

- Jim Gaffigan

I've always wanted to be an actor. I've never planned on the acting and the stand-up feeding each other; they've always been separate desires.

- Jim Gaffigan

I just want to be known as funny.

- Jim Gaffigan

I always imagine that if I met Dr. Seuss, he would be very similar to Crispin Glover.

- Jim Gaffigan

There's something about being a parent that has, I think, made me a better comedian.

- Jim Gaffigan

All I want to do is be a good dad, but I'm pretty bad at it.

- Jim Gaffigan

My whole comic persona is that of a guy who explores the id: I romanticize gluttony, I romanticize laziness, and people identify with that.

- Jim Gaffigan

I'm an eccentric, silly, observational guy, but I'm not gonna frighten off social conservatives.

- Jim Gaffigan

I'm a comedian, which is the opposite of a lifestyle that equips you to be a parent.

- Jim Gaffigan

I'm a big eater. I mean, a lot of my stand-up is about food, and you write about what you know, and that's the only thing I know. I don't know anything else.

- Jim Gaffigan

Most single guys I know think fatherhood is terrifying.

- Jim Gaffigan

Manhattan's probably one of the bluest parts in the country, and Indiana's definitely one of the redder states. I have sympathy for both sides.

- Jim Gaffigan

Comedians kind of write what comes to them. You can give yourself little assignments, but it's what inspires you.

- Jim Gaffigan