Where can I get some tat? I'd like to trade it in.

- Aaron Allston

The difference between tragedy and comedy: Tragedy is something awful happening to somebody else, while comedy is something awful happening to somebody else.

- Aaron Allston

This would not be a problem if I were driving a snowplow.

- Aaron Allston

The way to a man's heart is through his chest.

- Aaron Allston

The analysis of the thing is not the thing itself.

- Aaron Allston

No one pays me to be nice.

- Aaron Allston

I'm content to stand on tradition. I'm even more content to wipe my feet on it.

- Aaron Allston

I really can't complain about actresses who get paid to be dumb. Most of us can't get paid to be smart.

- Aaron Allston

Definition of 'Free': You pay for it whether or not you elect to receive it.

- Aaron Allston

Any sufficiently badly-written science is indistinguishable from magic.

- Aaron Allston

Life is like an analogy.

- Aaron Allston

Violence is the first refuge of the violent.

- Aaron Allston

Feminism is sort of like God. Many people profess to believe in it, but no one seems to be able to define it to everyone's satisfaction.

- Aaron Allston

There are two types of people in the world, and I'm one of them.

- Aaron Allston

Luck consists largely of hanging on by your fingernails until things start to go your way.

- Aaron Allston

If you hack the Vatican server, have you tampered in God's domain?

- Aaron Allston

When all else fails, complicate matters.

- Aaron Allston

The principle of Sturgeon's Razor states that the simplest answer to any problem is 90% crap.

- Aaron Allston

Lawyers are the first refuge of the incompetent.

- Aaron Allston