I tell people, 'If you want to send a message to the White House, call my house.'

- Dick Gregory

When I go through the airport and see white women walking through the airport barefooted, like athlete's feet don't exist, there's something wrong.

- Dick Gregory

It was an unwritten law that black comics were not permitted to work white nightclubs. You could sing and you could dance, but you couldn't stand flat-footed and talk; that was a no-no.

- Dick Gregory

Being white is a job in America. You take that away, you better get the soldiers out.

- Dick Gregory

I buy about $1,500 worth of papers every month. Not that I trust them. I'm looking for the crack in the fabric.

- Dick Gregory

I'm not a comic. I'm a humorist.

- Dick Gregory

When I was a boy, I was taught never to use insulting expressions like, 'I've been gypped,' or, 'He welshed on the deal.'

- Dick Gregory

In most places in the country, voting is looked upon as a right and a duty, but in Chicago it's a sport.

- Dick Gregory

You know why Madison Avenue advertising has never done well in Harlem? We're the only ones who know what it means to be Brand X.

- Dick Gregory

Riches do not delight us so much with their possession, as torment us with their loss.

- Dick Gregory

To me, seeing a really great comedian is a bit like watching a musician or a poet.

- Dick Gregory

Every holiday on the calendar, I check in a hotel and fast - I don't eat, I don't drink, I don't talk.

- Dick Gregory

Hell hath no fury like a liberal scorned.

- Dick Gregory

I never believed in Santa Claus because I knew no white dude would come into my neighborhood after dark.

- Dick Gregory

I wouldn't mind paying taxes - if I knew they were going to a friendly country.

- Dick Gregory

I used to get letters saying, 'I didn't know black children and white children were the same.'

- Dick Gregory

I never thought I'd see the day that I would see white folks as frightened, or more so, than black folks was during the civil rights movement when we was in Mississippi.

- Dick Gregory

Let me tell you, never before in the history of this planet has anybody made the progress that African-Americans have made in a 30-year period, in spite of many black folks and white folks lying to one another.

- Dick Gregory

There's a God force inside of you that gives you a will to live.

- Dick Gregory

It's cool to be healthy.

- Dick Gregory