Quotes from Bill Cosby


Sorted by Popularity


I don't think you can bring the races together by joking about the differences between them. I'd rather talk about the similarities, about what's universal in their experiences.


I never saw anything funny in a car commercial - but that's OK. Whatever they wanted to do - it's their product and I'm the spokesperson, and I'm going to deliver.


Sometimes you try to help people, and it backfires on you, and then they try to take advantage of you.


People can be more forgiving than you can imagine. But you have to forgive yourself. Let go of what's bitter and move on.


I'm a Christian. But Muslims are misunderstood. Intentionally misunderstood. We should all be more like them.


A word to the wise ain't necessary - it's the stupid ones that need the advice.


Nothing separates the generations more than music. By the time a child is eight or nine, he has developed a passion for his own music that is even stronger than his passions for procrastination and weird clothes.


A new father quickly learns that his child invariably comes to the bathroom at precisely the times when he's in there, as if he needed company. The only way for this father to be certain of bathroom privacy is to shave at the gas station.


Having a child is surely the most beautifully irrational act that two people in love can commit.


When I decided that I wanted to go to college, I wanted to be a school teacher for 7th and 8th grade boys because I felt that was an important time for them. I had gone astray at that point in my life and really wanted to help keep them from making the same mistake I had made.


I was 23 years old, a freshman at university, and there I was, on the first day, sitting in a remedial English class. I was so ashamed I almost got up and left, but somehow I knew inside that if I ran away from this, I would hate myself forever.


There is hope for the future because God has a sense of humor and we are funny to God.


As I have discovered by examining my past, I started out as a child. Coincidentally, so did my brother. My mother did not put all her eggs in one basket, so to speak: she gave me a younger brother named Russell, who taught me what was meant by 'survival of the fittest.'


In order to succeed, your desire for success should be greater than your fear of failure.


We are all anxious to be accepted. But if you have a strong mother and father who tell you that you don't have to dress a crazy way, or hang out with people who are looking for trouble in order to be loved and accepted, then half the battle is over.


No matter how calmly you try to referee, parenting will eventually produce bizarre behavior, and I'm not talking about the kids. Their behavior is always normal.


When a person has a gun, sometimes their mind clicks that this thing will win arguments and straighten people out.


Now, Richard Pryor was unique. Many misunderstood his humor. He lit up the hallway, but they didn't understand his use of profanity. He didn't use it just to be using it; he used it in the context of his satire.


I don't see much comedy in the Bible, where people are writing about funny people. It's not there.


That married couples can live together day after day is a miracle that the Vatican has overlooked.