I never knew a man come to greatness or eminence who lay abed late in the morning.

- Jonathan Swift

Men are happy to be laughed at for their humor, but not for their folly.

- Jonathan Swift

Principally I hate and detest that animal called man; although I heartily love John, Peter, Thomas, and so forth.

- Jonathan Swift

There is nothing constant in this world but inconsistency.

- Jonathan Swift

Better belly burst than good liquor be lost.

- Jonathan Swift

Where there are large powers with little ambition... nature may be said to have fallen short of her purposes.

- Jonathan Swift

The proper words in the proper places are the true definition of style.

- Jonathan Swift

A lie does not consist in the indirect position of words, but in the desire and intention, by false speaking, to deceive and injure your neighbour.

- Jonathan Swift

We have enough religion to make us hate, but not enough to make us love one another.

- Jonathan Swift

When a true genius appears, you can know him by this sign: that all the dunces are in a confederacy against him.

- Jonathan Swift

The best doctors in the world are Doctor Diet, Doctor Quiet, and Doctor Merryman.

- Jonathan Swift

Vision is the art of seeing what is invisible to others.

- Jonathan Swift

Vanity is a mark of humility rather than of pride.

- Jonathan Swift

Censure is the tax a man pays to the public for being eminent.

- Jonathan Swift

I wonder what fool it was that first invented kissing.

- Jonathan Swift

Satire is a sort of glass, wherein beholders do generally discover everybody's face but their own.

- Jonathan Swift

Under this window in stormy weather I marry this man and woman together; Let none but Him who rules the thunder Put this man and woman asunder.

- Jonathan Swift

Books, the children of the brain.

- Jonathan Swift

As love without esteem is capricious and volatile; esteem without love is languid and cold.

- Jonathan Swift

A tavern is a place where madness is sold by the bottle.

- Jonathan Swift