Quotes on the topic: Funny


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I actually opened for Chris Rock at the Funny Bone one time.


If I were two-faced, would I be wearing this one?


For 35 years, I was a writer. I wrote a lot of jokes. Some of them weren't funny. Some of them weren't appropriate. Some of them were downright offensive. I understand that.


No man has a good enough memory to be a successful liar.


It's hard to lead a cavalry charge if you think you look funny on a horse.


The reason why you know more funny dudes than funny chicks is that dudes are funnier than chicks. If my daughter has a mediocre sense of humor, I'm just gonna tell her, 'Be a staff writer for a sitcom. Because they'll have to hire you, they can't really fire you, and you don't have to produce that much. It'll be awesome.'


Bob Dole used to be really funny. Barney Frank can be kind of funny. Bob Kerrey has a good sense of humor.


First and foremost when you're doing comedy, you gotta be relevant and applicable to the times that you're living in. When you try and just do comedy about who is dating who and lifestyle jokes, it gets tiring after a while. It's hard to be funny in that realm.


If Joy Behar or Sherri Shepherd was a dude, they'd be off TV. They're not funny enough for dudes. What if Roseanne Barr was a dude? Think we'd know who she was?


You know, Lincoln was funny. I don't think F.D.R. was very funny. But Lincoln was funny. Lincoln was really funny. But I think you should get elected first, and then show that you're funny.


It's just funny that Americans have to contend with 2000 channels, and 60 different specific news sources, and the confusion that it creates, and the junk that we get to see is hilarious.


Tact is the ability to describe others as they see themselves.


The day I made that statement, about the inventing the internet, I was tired because I'd been up all night inventing the Camcorder.


The easiest time to be funny is during a fairly serious situation. That way, you can break the ice. It's crazy, but even at funerals, people will get huge laughs.


Maybe I'm delusional but I'm usually funny. It's not 100% but I have a pretty good batting average.


And I think that being able to make people laugh and write a book that's funny makes the information go down a lot easier and it makes it a lot more fun to read, easier to understand, and often stronger. So there's all kinds of advantages to it.


If you do a Western that's funny, there's no way people don't call it a spoof or a parody, even though it may not be.


If this is coffee, please bring me some tea; but if this is tea, please bring me some coffee.


Sixth grade was a big time, in my childhood, of hoops and friendship, and coming up with funny things.


It's funny when you're a kid how you can acclimate to almost anything.